#TeamTrump: The Four Types of Donald Trump Supporters

It takes a special kind of person to support Donald Trump. 

The  Republican establishment is running in circles attempting to pinpoint exactly where this unsuspected surge of support has come from - for a candidate who, for all intents and purposes, is about as unpolitical, unconventional, and traditionally unfavorable as any Presidential candidate in this countries. National polls  indicate slightly more than one-third of registered Republicans support Trump, and Party leaders are struggling to figure out where this population spawned from so suddenly. One five-minute stint at a Trump "rally" will let you know exactly what types of people his militia consists of. I've narrowed Trump's base to four personality types.

*Disclaimer: While this list of characterizations is by no means a product of scientific experimentation, a reflection of poll studies, or even bounded by factual information, Trump supporters don't necessarily deal in factual analysis, so, basically, I'm speaking their language.

1. The Opportunistically Extroverted Racist


Seven months into the Trump campaign, if there is one theme that surrounds his run has been a string of unfortunate, and telling, racial (over)undertones. Campaign stops are overwhelmingly White, so much so that the current trend is to forcibly remove ("escort") out anyone who checks any of the minority boxes on applications. His supporters have transformed into an army of minions who feed off racially insensitive,  xenophobic rhetoric. This is not Trumps doing... no. For this group of followers, The "Opportunistically Extroverted Racist", this is who they are. Don't get this confused with the outright racist groups. Trump has already received a number of endorsements from Klan, White Nationalist, and Neo Nazi organizations. The Opportunistically Extroverted Racist is found among your more common class of Trump supporters.

This isn't your typical "elevator purse clutcher", your "cross the street to avoid oncoming Negros", or your "wrong side of the tracks" racist. Trumps racists are a special kind. This type of racist tells Nigger jokes to his office friends during his lunch break, then goes back to his cubical next to the Black guy and puts on his daily front. This type of racists tells his daughter if he was to ever bring home a black guy, she would be immediately be disowned. They are the ones who only express their racial intolerance when engulfed in a comfort experienced when surrounded by a crowd of like-minded people. These types of people are likely to have a false sense of entitlement to this country, making Trump's campaign slogan, "Make America Great Again", mean something totally different. When The Donald spurs the inner-most hatred in his crowd of minions through the use of stereotypical, demeaning, and offensive language, it speaks directly to the hidden bigot trapped within. They would be the person attending a Jim Crow lynching to enjoy the show, not the unmasked clan member, secure in their hatred. They are emboldened by the ruckus that is associated with the sea of bigotry that is Team Trump. 

Estimated proportion of Team Trump: 35%


2. The Paid Help


A much smaller, yet equally vital portion of Team Trump is comprised of the strategically placed financial assets embedded within his campaign. From the kick start of the Trump political movement, the campaign has instituted a pay-for-play type compensation plan for his "supporters". In fact, reports from numerous sources claim he hired actors at a rate of $50/ person to impersonate avid supporters at his initial campaign announcement, and the use of compensated seat fillers continue to this day to fuel the facade of a meteoric Trump rise. Then, the appearance of randomly placed walking billboards have begged the question, "They gotta be getting paid for this sh*t". 


First to make a cameo was the broken English speaking Latino lady professing her (and the Hispanic community's) love for "Mister Trump", ironically after he called all Mexicans rapists, murderers, and drug dealers. Her proclamation, "I'm Hispanic, and I vote for Mister Trump... We love Mister Trump", seemed a little tough to digest as genuine. After a blatantly racist, and factually incorrect vomit-tweet displaying conjured up crime statistics that misrepresent the African American community, Trump lined up a group of African American televangelists and sought out their endorsement. He came out with a handful of supporters from the bunch, including his long time friend and "Apprentice" co-star turned newly anointed evangelical pastor, Omorosa Manigault. Surrounding her were the slickest group of jive talking, spray-on Steve Harvey edge rocking, ascot fluffing, please buy this bottle of prayer water slanging pastors on the planet. Because of people like them, Trump proudly boasts that "The Mexicans" love him and he has a "great relationship with The Blacks". Donald Trump says he's the best negotiator on the planet, and for some people on this earth, anything is for sale. Even their souls.

Estimated Proportion of Team Trump: 5-10% depending on venue and circumstance.


3. The Sarah Palins


The large majority of Trump support is comprised of people that almost resemble normal humans. However, their propensity (or lack thereof) for the use of common sense, logic, and political astuteness sets them apart from rational Conservatives. I have coined these people the "Sarah Palins"... 


The Palinites are the loudest voice in the room with the least substance to add. They are products of the Fox News Revolution and, as a result, are likely fact-deficient, incoherent, and aimless in their goals. They are mad, but they don't fully understand who they should be mad at, so the only (il)logical conclusion is to be mad at the Black guy in charge. They are trapped in a space somewhere between the Tea Party and the Twilight Zone - an alternate reality where all of the worlds ills would be solved with the impeachment of President Obama. World hunger - Obama's fault. Ebola, Barack brought it in. Pluto not a planet anymore? An Obama executive order made it so. Plate tectonics... well you get the picture. The most bizarre part of the Palinites, THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY. They believe that Obama will find a way to take the 3 million guns away from responsible Americans. They believe that Muslims, and any forms of non Christianity are root of all evil. They still believe, despite the mounds of evidence against them, that the President was born in Africa. They believe they can see Russia from their back yard. Their language? Circle talk. Their source of information? Whatever "media outlet", interest groups, or television personality that can make the most outrageous claims, the most frequently. The mere fact that Donald Trump leads the GOP in fact-less claims makes no difference to Palinites, because in their "reality", truth is whatever fallacies can be conjured up in their creative little minds at any given moment. They create their own ocean of reality, then proceed to drown in it.

Estimated proportion of Team Trump: 55% on a slow day


4. The Alien Abduction Victim

This oddly named group may be the most accurately assigned. In 1992, a Roper survey concluded that nearly 3 Million Americans truly believe that they have experienced an personal encounter with extraterrestrial beings. This bracket of trump supporters encompasses them, and all of the other types of "weirdos" among us. This category includes the "I married my first cousin" people (and/or their resulting voting age children), the quack job conspiracy theorist who, despite their disdain for the government, still manage to make their ways to the polls, and a large portion of the "off-the-grid" Mountainmen. They constitute the group known as the "others"... they are the third kind. While in a typical election cycle, these people wouldn't be thought of to be avid contributors to the political process... Trump is the type of candidate tot bring them out of the woodwork. This group make the Trump crazies truly crazy, and no other candidate fits their mold like The Donald.

Estimated proportion of Team Trump: 5%  


As you can see, there's not much room in #TeamTrump for normal folk... Sanity is in the minority, common sense is a rare commodity, and tolerance is optional. Sounds pretty much like a regular Trump rally to me...